I can not think, I can not feel. I just know I am not well. I am in stand by, I am operating in automatic pilot. I am in lethargy state, I have a fever.
I hear the sound of the TV set coming from somewhere, but my ears are muffled and I can barely hear, besides I am even paying attention on what they say.
There are some black clouds in the sky. I do not know if it is hot or if the temperature is nive. The Sun is warm, its bright is not glittering and the colors are pale, as if I was inside a 1970's color TV.
I am sick in on my bed covered from my toes to my hairs by my blanket. My body is tired and even the more I remain laying down, I can not rest. I do not know who I am feeling. I am not in a good mood, but I am not in a bad mood. I am not happy, but I am not sad. I do not want a companion, but I do not want to be alone. I am not feeling like living, but I do not feel like dying.
I can not think, I can not feel. I just know I am not well. I am in stand by, I am operating in automatic pilot. I am in lethargy state, I have a fever.
They expect a perfection that does not exist, they do recognize perfection is unreachable, however they demand perfection the same way.
Tusky has thrown his stars to the sky. Would he want to extravasate his hopes and dreams that suppress him delightfully? Would he want to decorate your sky with stars, illuminating your dark night? He probably wanted both.
What a controversy they expect from us. They ask us for us to be sincere, but they are not mature enough to face the truth, not nice all the time. They say that making mistakes is natural from human nature, but they are always ready to throw Sakineh's stones against your head. They expect a perfection that does not exist, they do recognize perfection is unreachable, however they demand perfection the same way. Everything must be measured, thought and rethought, polished and disposed. We lost spontaneity.
Amortentia and witchcraft do not work for us, the stupid muggles. However, even they would work, love would not be sincere and natural but imposed. Slaves of a spell, an unilateral love. Love yourself, a shotgun wedding would not make your man to marry you for love, he would do it for obligation.
Would you like to love unilaterally anyone, a friend, a boyfriend, whoever? Do you really have to stop being yourself in order to change to please someone that does not love you enough to accept you the way you are?
Be yourself. Do not follow a script written for some stupid guy that wants to hear only the things he want. Is it worth to sacrifice your values, opinions, feelings and believes for someone who does not care about you?
Lady Gaga said the God makes no mistakes, that you are beautiful in your way, you were born this way, I am sorry. Katy Perry said the there is a spark on you, that maybe the reason why all the doors are closed is that you could open the one that leads you to the perfect road, and you will know the time to let your light to shine. Pitty asked you to show you off for her and then she will know if she likes your real way to be.
So when the affection is bilateral you will be able to enjoy the feeling of being truly beloved for someone. You will be able to live and feel everything intensely instead of living the superficiality of lies and pretending. Do not be a puppet, do not follow a script, throw it away. Live your live. It is yours, not theirs.
You do have expectations and your supposed lack of them is nothing but the reflexion of what you wished and failed.
There is no point in pretending you do not have expectations. Lie to the world, but can you lie to yourself even when you do it perfectly? You do have expectations and your supposed lack of them is nothing but the reflexion of what you wished and failed.
Who disputes an Olympic Games final wishing to win the silver medal and refuses the gold one? Who dreams of becoming fatter and fatter? Who wants to have acne or being ugly? Who does not want to be loved? Everyone has expectations, lots of them are suppressed even by us when we are afraid of bad comments from people we love and people we hate. Well, we want to be spoiled and the one who criticizes it is the one who wished to be spoiled and never was.
Expectations of you to know that I like your company and I would like you to stay a little bit more for me. Come here and show and tell me you really like me. Expectation of you noticing that I changed something on my appearance in order to praise you – and this time you noticed it by your own. Expectation of not suffering from Cláudia's Disease.
Expectation of becoming a succeed professional, recognized by my skills. Of being with people who cares about you, not about the things what you have. Of being friends that are not afraid to say to you the things you dislike, but that you have to hear for you well being. Expectations of comments in a blog.
We want to shine through. If our love life sinks like the Titanic, we expect our professional life to be ascending like the Brazilian deputies salaries. Expectations of something best and bigger. Expectations of your expectations not to become ex-pectations.
What about yours? Which are your expectations and ex-pectations?
