The obvious non-proved

If I could foresee the outcome of the obvious non-proved, I would get less stressed than the usual.

No dog barking, no child crying, no woman yelling. There is peace at 4am and ideas take shape when the lead pencil slides on the paper without so many interruptions caused by hesitations.

The boy wanted to be an astronaut when he grew up. He did grow up and he was not a boy anymore but not yet a man. In an ordinary day, he was noticed about a voyage to the Moon by Twitter. He decided to know more about, to let the organizers know, showing he was interested.

In the begging, his e-mails used to be answered but after some time, he stayed in the vacuum – not in the vacuum of the Space. The inbox remained empty. One month later, when researching about this promotion over Google, he found out that the space shuttle had already gone. He felt two different feelings at the same time: relief of finally knowing the outcome of the promotion, but unhappiness of not being selected.

Since then, his head, that had already been busy with anxiety due to not have any reply during this one month, reserved some space to more doubts enemies of the peace of spirit: where did I go wrong? Have I lost so many time beating around the bush due to my necessity of having the total control of the things? Should I had gone straight to the point? Was not me good enough for the voyage? Was not the voyage good enough for me?

Now he could only theorize. What if...? Perhaps... Ellipsis... Perhaps this was not the time and I should wait for one more opportunity... opportunity that does not appear any time. Perhaps it would have been better and I would have spared myself from something unpleasant. Perhaps I did lose the chance of stepping on the Moon, and check if it is made of cheese. Emmental or gruyère?

Now the space shuttle had already gone and all the man-boy could do was to accept the facts and choose to either chew his doubts or swallow them at all. Perhaps the voyage was one more of his desires, but are a necessity and a desire just frivolous wishes? Perhaps the crew of the shuttle will have a unique, wonderful, unforgettable experience and the man who wished to become an astronaut will never have. Or perhaps they are going to meet the Death by being devoured by the Sun.

If I could foresee the outcome of the obvious non-proved, I would get less stressed than the usual.