The dictionaries bring us the meanings of the words, but the conceptions varies from person to person, from culture to culture. People have different views about everything that involves people's feelings, beliefs and expectations. For example, for some people it's ok to be cheated as long as you love and feel loved by the cheater, while it's unforgiving for others.
This is a text about forgiveness.
Some people treat the gesture of forgiving as something banal because “forgiving sets one free”. Ok, sometimes it does but should we understand that forgiving is something with no value? Of course not! The one who forgives as he says “good morning” should not be surprised for being fooled all the time by everyone.
On the other hand, we have to ponder because we also can' t think that forgiving is something too precious. We have to pay close attention if we are not being bitter or too hard. Everybody will have a bruised ego in some moment of life so, get mature, try to understand that people are not perfect and they fail.
And then we finally face that (rare) moment when someone asks you to forgive whatever wrong they did. What to do?
Here people applies what they feel, not exactly what they say or understand as “right”. Everyone knows the intensity of the pain they felt. What really hurts someone, may not even bother another one, so people should try to have some empathy and being understanding. This is hard! At the same time people should have the tact to deal with others, they have to be mature to recognized when they behaved as someone selfish and immature.
It's unforgiving mean to hurt and being blind to recognized how you was evil. It's also unforgiving playing with the feelings of the people that really like you and you know it, and as long as you know it, you play with them because you enjoy being sadistic.
And sometimes, there's no need to say “I forgive you”. Some people don't deserve the decency of being told that. People did forgive without saying a word, but they want to be far from the one who did something evil. That's why some rapprochements never have an answer.
And the fact that it doesn't have an answer doesn't mean that hurt one is still resentful. Not exactly. There are some stories that will never go ahead because they get always stuck on the same fights, the same jokes of a spoiled child. And of course people change, just like their thoughts, their attitudes, their passions and what they liked in the past, they may not like anymore today or in the future.
And finally, never expect to restore a situation when someone forgives you. People may forget your words, but they'll never forget how you made them feel, specially if once they liked you and the saw deep in your eyes that you did mean to hurt to please your selfish desire of being adored as a god.
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